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Therefore one would believe that dating is serious business, that it is codified and constitutes a long-term courtship.

Think about pigeons cooing in the spring, for a really long time. When I started asking questions of my American peeps about dating and what it meant, I got all sorts of unexpected and funny comments.

My first reaction was to laugh at him because it seemed so absurd that someone (let alone a cashier my age with whom I had only spoken three words) was asking me on a date.

You will never, in France, find a guy you don’t know show any romantic interest in you if you have not been introduced by a mutual friend.

A couple of nights ago, I was sitting in a restaurant with a mélange of expats and some poor Frenchies who had the misfortune of winding up in my presence. If French people stopped being so damn lazy and invested half of the time they spend complaining into actually doing something, magical things would happen.

With three functioning brain cells left to rub together after days of holiday boozing, I took a receipt and started mapping out a list of reasons why the spawn of Rimbaud and Baudelaire don’t seem to be doing it for me in the romantic sense. Cancer would be cured, the French economy would stop progressively going down the drain, unicorns would fly and procreate. However, I will argue in my defense and reinstate that hygiene in this country is suffering.

Even if I was single, I had zero interest in this older man.

I simply loved him the way one loves pizza or a Jimmy Stewart movie.

Both claim that they have to regularly conduct little Hygiene 101 pep talks with their significant others, in which they explain that showing is a I stopped there.While I am occasionally thrown off by their penchant for elaborately draped skinny scarves, I must admit that the French have an unbeatable natural elegance about them.They know their qualité and their savoir-faire and their h man does not need to be taught how to dress or set the table or pick out a bottle of wine.After we had said goodbye to our guests and made our way to the honeymoon suite—a rundown apartment in Montmartre that smelled of mildew and stinky cheese—I proceeded to recap the evening.It was a wonderful wedding; everyone had a great time dancing until 3 a.m., a bottle of champagne in each hand.

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